Keep the shiny side up

Dear Suzuki Motor Corporation,

Perhaps you should consider requiring that all customers participate in an IQ test prior to purchasing your motorcycles. It is quite possible that I am far too stupid to own a brand new Suzuki SV650 in red.

I bought one of your fine motorcycles on 3/15/06 and on 3/16/06, I parked it in my driveway, cut off the engine and dismounted....without putting the side-stand down. I had been out for a ride on this beautiful bike and was completely high on adrenaline. In my V-Twin induced stupor, I went stupid and just dropped the bike right on the ground. I broke off the shift lever and part of the clutch lever, so I can't even ride my bike now. The wonderful people at Canton Suzuki told me the parts should arrive on Tuesday, 3/21/06, but that doesn't really matter since I now have a second degree burn on my right leg because I laid it on the engine.

Let me just say that your motorcycle does a fine job of deep frying human flesh and I am so thrilled that I bought this particular bike because it has a display that told me that my flesh was fried at a temperature of 194 degrees. I mean, if you are going to incapacitate yourself by cooking your leg, it is useful to know at what temperature.

This burn is quite possibly the most painful injury I have had to date. Twice a day I have to remove the dressing and clean it with soap and water. Oh this is a special part of my day, wiping the wound with a cloth and soap and water. Then I have to cover it again with ointment and wrap it back up with $25 worth of bandages. Standing up and walking is akin to being drawn and quartered. This is one hell of a price to pay for being totally fucking stupid.

Lessons learned: Side-stand down THEN dismount. Wear full boots.

Here is what my boo boo looks like today: