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I have been sleep deprived for so long that I don't think I can remember what it feels like to be really rested.I slept a lot when I was pregnant with the twins in 2002, that must have been the last time I was really rested.

I typically sleep 4-5 hours a night, Tuesday through Thursday. On Fridays I wake up at about 6 or 6:15am and I am awake until Saturday, around noon. Then I sleep from noon on Saturday until about 6pm, which sounds like a decent amount of sleep, but you have to remember that I was awake for 30 hours straight before. Then I work again, all night, and sleep during the day on Sunday. How long all depends on how loud everyone in my house is being, but on average I will sleep from about 7am until 3pm. The work again all night Sunday. On Mondays I sleep while the twins are at preschool, so I only get about 2 hours that morning. Sometimes I will take a nap when they do in the afternoon, but normally I have too much to do.

Saturday morning while I was sitting in class, after having worked all night long and been awake for nearly 30 hours straight, I was making mental notes about how I could feel it in my body when I was exhausted. The bone-tired that I feel on Saturday mornings manifest in a few small ways. I am ultra thirsty and can't seem to get enough water to drink, but I have to pee every half an hour it seems. Things don't sound normal to me, things sound like I have my head in a bowl or something. My eyes don't focus well, and they move in my skull much slower. My feet are unsure, climbing the three flights of stairs to my classroom takes a lot of concentration so that I don't trip and fall. I have to make the drive home with the radio off, otherwise the sound of the radio distracts me so much that I am afraid I might wreck the car. It's like I have to use every single ounce of energy I have left just to physically function.

I wonder what kind of person I would be if I got 8 hours of sleep every night? I wonder what that would feel like. I am so tired of being tired.