Saturday, March 26, 2005

Trailer Park discipline

Recently, in the last few days, I have been involved with a discussion about spanking and discipline. And this one person, who shall remain nameless, comes out with how she would "take a belt" to her 14 year old daughter. She says the child needs it because she talks back so much. It is yet unclear to me if this person has actually hit her teenager with a belt before, or if she just spews out empty threats to her. Either way, this reeks of trailer park discipline! You know they type, screaming at the kids from the front steps, mother to a passle of kids from different fathers, belt whoopins and everything.

People who hit their kids with belts, at the age of 14, are just fucking stupid, ignorant morons who do not deserve to be the parents of said child.

Now I may be biased because I am no longer a believer in spanking, I don't think it works to teach a lesson, other than I can hit you because I am the adult. I cringe when someone smacks their little one on the butt, but if I saw someone "take a belt" to a child, I would freaking lose my mind.

End of rant.

8 Comments:

At 7:48 PM, Blogger Ethan Wiggum said...

I have no problem with corporal punishment -- it worked on me.

 
At 11:48 PM, Blogger Smoov said...

Lancelot-
Your parents hit you with a belt? As a teenager?

I know you grew up in the south like I did, and your parents probably had similar child discipline techniques - while I don't think spanking is the best method to discipline a child, no matter what age, I absolutely don't think it is okay to hit someone with a belt.

 
At 5:59 AM, Blogger Ethan Wiggum said...

Yes and yes. And, quite frankly, each time they did, i needed my ass kicked. Let's put it this way: take what you know about Westminster kids. Then multiply it by 50 for what you don't know. Every so often, an essential message just wasn't going to make it through my skull without some extra reinforcement. As far as I can tell, it was good parenting.

 
At 9:51 AM, Blogger Smoov said...

Alrighty then. But I don't agree.There are far more effective ways of dealing with teenagers than hitting them.

 
At 3:03 PM, Blogger cackmandu said...

Hmmm, what a debate this is. I am a spanker or at least was a "spanker". I have recently read an article about how to discipline children. We use time outs and that doesn't seem to work. The article went on to say you should give the child a hug and explain what he/she did wrong. We have done this a a few times and it does seem to work on occassions. My son still hits and kicks the pets though.

Me and my wife have agreed that it doesn't make sense for us to tell him to stop hitting the dogs and cats while we then wind up and spank (hit) him. So, we are under the impression of the consoling and "wimpy" way seems to be the best way.

Although there are days that he needs to be sent flying across the room it is hard to just give him a hug and explain to him what he did was wrong. In the long wrong it is worth it though. The tantrums are minimal and not so dramatic and he will soon be rid of most of the "bad" things he does.

I was paddled until I was about 10. I think it does work as far as reenforcing what rules you want implemented. Do I want to do this to my son...no.

 
At 10:55 PM, Blogger G~ said...

Corporal punishment is biblical. I was spanked as a kid and I spanked my own. They are now 12 & 16 and haven't been (or needed to be) spanked in years. The thing about disciplining a child using spanking is that it becomes unecessary if done correctly.

No, a 14yo kid shouldn't need a spanking of any kind and I think, especially for girls, it's inappropriate. Obviously, everyone won't use spanking-as-discipline correctly. But it does work if you do it right.

 
At 8:53 PM, Blogger Smoov said...

I'm sorry g~, but I disagree. I just don't see how hitting a child teaches them anything other than, mom gets angry at me and hits me.

 
At 11:36 PM, Blogger G~ said...

It's your perrogative to disagree, of course. But you have to understand that it's not discipline if you spank when you're angry...it's just taking out your frustrations on your kid.

This is where the parent's discipline comes into play. Having enough control over yourself not to spank, or "hit" as you refer to it, when you're mad at the child. If you don't have enough restraint to control your own mad fits, then you surely don't need to be trying to teach a child how to behave.

The popular "deny privileges" ideas are not enough either. Especially not for a small child. That's like taking the porno mags away from the pedophile. He'll just go get some more.

If you don't make it mean something to the child, then it won't MEAN anything to the child and he'll do whatever it was he's not supposed to again.

Does this mean I beat the will out of my kids? No. Whatever it is you think spanking means, it's not that. Not for people who use it responsibly. It does mean that, just like the law, there are certain things that are negotiable and certain things that are not.

And by the way, my children treat me more respectfully, enjoy my company and think better of me than any of my friends' children feel towards their parents. My kids come home shaking their heads over the way some of their friends talk to their moms. So if you suppose my children are embittered by the "beatings" you think they got, you're wrong.

In the same way I can now see how the spankings I got as a child were well deserved and my parents wise to give them.

This hasn't changed your mind, I'm sure, but perhaps it's given you a better understanding of what 'spanking' is, or should be, all about.

 

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