Gymboree Cult

So yesterday I was shopping at the mall (aka 5th circle of hell) for a birthday gift for a friend. I stopped in a store called Gymboree. I discovered there is a cult of Gymboree shoppers. Women with huge strollers were there, picking out tons of outfits and putting them on hold, to come back the next day and buy them using "Gymbucks". I don't pretend to understand the economic structure or market value of the Gymbuck, but apparently it is something to take very seriously.

The woman in front of me in line was quit distraught when she could not find a skirt in the "Costa Rica" line that fit her wee little daughter. She whined to the clerk that she had already hired a photographer to take family photos at the beach next month, and they were all wearing something from this line. ALL OF THEM. Yes people, you can buy clothes for the whole fucking family, mom and dad too, at Gymboree. Sweet Jesus.

The I went on to the Gap, where I found a lot of clothes that begged, "Kick my ass please, my mama dresses me like this". Look at these clothes, and tell me, with a straight face, that you think they are adorable: Beat me up clothes for boys. I asked the clerk there for a certain size in a pair of pants and she said they didn't have anymore in back, but suggested these instead: Hideous toddler pants. When I laughed out loud, right after her suggestion, she looked at me like I was a lunatic. as if those pants were THE thing this spring.

Apparently I don't have any taste at all in fashion, nor do I measure up to the proper standard of a suburban mommy. I can't fathom why anyone would go to the mall more than once a month and I don't know all the names of the Boobahs, nor have we ever seen that show. And really....is this pertinent information for my children's well-being?

Can someone please confirm that those fucking pants are the scariest thing to be seen at the Gap in.....forever?