Just right now

It's been a few weeks since I've uttered anything here. Busy...sure, isn't everyone? I've been practicing living in the right now. It's such a simple concept but so fucking hard to practice. Things in the past are just that, in the past. They are gone. Let them be gone. Things in the future shouldn't carry so much weight because what happens to the right now when you worry over past and future? Most of our focus should be right now. Just right now. If we can do that, really live our best right now then the other stuff works out without much effort.

I've been trying so hard to be more patient with the kids. More understanding with friends and family. More tolerant. Less hurried. I've been trying really hard to spend my time doing things I want to do and even when I am doing things I have to do, like work and laundry, I'm trying to just be in the right now. Give my best effort to whatever task is at hand, be it work, dishes or lounging. It's actually really hard!

On a tangent, I've been loving age 5! The twins are so much fun, even when they are naughty. They make me feel young again and they make me laugh. This time with them will pass so quickly, I am trying to capture it any way possible even if that means I have to buy storage bins to hold all of their kindergarten work that comes home every day! Hayden is a 6th grader, that curious, odd and moody creature known as a pre-teen. Sometimes she's so great and sometimes she makes me feel like sticking a rusty fork in my eye. Last night we went to dinner, just her and I and had such great conversation. I am going to use that memory the next time I find myself reaching for a fork....