Just right now

It's been a few weeks since I've uttered anything here. Busy...sure, isn't everyone? I've been practicing living in the right now. It's such a simple concept but so fucking hard to practice. Things in the past are just that, in the past. They are gone. Let them be gone. Things in the future shouldn't carry so much weight because what happens to the right now when you worry over past and future? Most of our focus should be right now. Just right now. If we can do that, really live our best right now then the other stuff works out without much effort.

I've been trying so hard to be more patient with the kids. More understanding with friends and family. More tolerant. Less hurried. I've been trying really hard to spend my time doing things I want to do and even when I am doing things I have to do, like work and laundry, I'm trying to just be in the right now. Give my best effort to whatever task is at hand, be it work, dishes or lounging. It's actually really hard!

On a tangent, I've been loving age 5! The twins are so much fun, even when they are naughty. They make me feel young again and they make me laugh. This time with them will pass so quickly, I am trying to capture it any way possible even if that means I have to buy storage bins to hold all of their kindergarten work that comes home every day! Hayden is a 6th grader, that curious, odd and moody creature known as a pre-teen. Sometimes she's so great and sometimes she makes me feel like sticking a rusty fork in my eye. Last night we went to dinner, just her and I and had such great conversation. I am going to use that memory the next time I find myself reaching for a fork....

Vacation in progress

It's almost 11pm. We're in Blue Ridge, GA where we've come to hang out for the weekend. In lieu of a sugar-crazed birthday party, the boys elected to come here to take a ride on a real train. Our friends came along with us. We had a blast today. The train ride was great and included a layover in a quaint little mountain town called McCaysville. This town lies right on the state line with Copperhill, TN. We were able to stand with one leg in TN and one in GA and the kids thought that rocked. We ate ice cream and french fries and various other really bad for you foods that bring nothing but utter joy to the tummies of youngsters. Even the 11 year old girl who is famous for sulking had a great time and reconnected with her old friend, the neighbor's son. Right now the kids are zonked out hard-core in the beds which are insanely comfortable and king sized. Kevin is playing ping pong with the friend who came along and the rest of the neighbor's family is zonked out in their room next door. I'm taking advantage of the free internet service and the heavenly peace and quiet.

Listening to the little boys snore away behind me brings me a lot of happiness. They ran around today like crazy folks do and they had such fun doing it. The sleep they sleep right now was brought on by sheer exhaustion. It does my heart good to hear the three of them sleep so completely soundly, without a care in the world. The innocence and blissful ignorance of childhood fades soon enough and to be able to provide for them a safe and loving cocoon from the treacherous big world seems like one of the most important things I could ever do.

And in the morning we'll let them eat Belgian waffles with loads of whipped cream because...you only turn 5 years old once. Here's to the great year that lies ahead of you boys! Sleep tight.