Sunday, August 28, 2005

Currently reading

See that list over there in the sidebar? The one with four books listed that I am currently reading? Yeah. So, I started reading a fifth book, the one I wrote about a few entries back, "Long Way Round", and then I dropped all the other ones. So I finished that motorcycle book in 3 days and now I started another book, called "Don't Let's go to the Dogs Tonight". And thus now I am reading five books, yet again. What the fuck is wrong with me?


In finance, ROI means "Return on Investment". I can apply this term to my life right now. The twins will turn 3 on August 29, 2005. One day from today. Tomorrow to be exact. I am now seeing and feeling the full weight of my ROI, and I think I am getting a very, very good one. Babies are not my bag and I feel like I have invested the time and effort, during these last three years, in these babies and now I am really seeing the return. I guess, unlike most mothers, I have wished their babyhood away, waiting with eagerness to meet the young men they will become. I like kids, not babies. And so here we are, babyhood behind us and moving forward.

In 2002 we learned we were expecting twins. Much to our surprise, and honestly, not a very happy surprise at that. We did not plan to have any more children at that point in our lives. There was much crying and holding-head-in-hands kind of thing. But, they were coming and we had to deal with that and press on.

And so they came, August 29th, 2002. Jonas at 3:03pm and Tristan at 3:05pm. Perfect little boys, healthy in all ways, and I was too. The pregnancy had been a breeze and the labor and delivery was a cakewalk. No sweat. But I knew that was the easy part anyway, and the hard part was still to come. I told myself that if I made it to their 3rd birthday, everything after that would be okay. And it will be. All of our lives have changed, we have all learned a lot about ourselves, all because of them.

So this entry should be about the good stuff, not the bad stuff or the negative emotions. They are turning three! And they are fantastic little boys. They love all of us with that 3 yr old abandon, the stuff that makes your insides feel all warm. We yell at them and they cry and want us to hug them, they wake up happy every day, not groggily and slowly like grown-ups do, but all of a sudden, like a person who has a whole big day ahead of them and they must get going right now. They have brought so many good things to our lives, taught us to be more patient and to slow down. They have taught Hayden about being a big sister and about being the big kid that the little ones look up to. They have showed me that "just" staying home can indeed be okay. The days have come where I miss them so much when I am gone and we don't debate so much over who will stay home with the boys and who will run errands. Now running errands is becoming the bigger pain in the ass! They get so excited over the smallest things, the things we overlook. Bugs, trains - these they can hear in the distance and stop to point out that somewhere there is a train blowing its whistle, rain, birds, flowers, all of those things we pass by and never see. They insist on slowing down and looking. They have two different personalities, yet they are so much the same. They do everything together, one always following the other. It is truly amazing how twins work.

Happy Birthday Jonas and Tristan! You have been an absolute blessing to our family and I can't imagine a world without you.

Reasons why I haven't written lately

I started class, two classes, two nights a week.

I have been reading a lot.

I have been trying not to be in front of a computer so much.

I have been void of thoughts worthy to share.

Tuesday, August 16, 2005


I have a terrible habit of reading a bunch of books at one time, causing me to take months to get through a single book. Unless of course I get into one that hooks me, and then I drop all the others and fixate on that one. Right now it is this book:

I have longed for a motorcycle, a proper street bike, for as long as I can remember. Lately I have become obsessed with the idea of getting a bike and getting on it and riding. I need to have a diversion from the things that cause me stress in my life, and I need to have a fairly regular infusion of adrenaline. I think a bike would be the perfect medicine for me. And so, I started reading this book, a story about two guys circumnavigating the globe on two BMW bikes. It took them just over 3 months, beginning in London and going through western and eastern Europe and then across Kazakhstan, Mongolia, and Siberia, then from Alaska, through Canada a bit and all the way across the U.S. to New York City. Now doesn't that sound like a blast? Anyway, currently this book has caused me to push aside the other four I was reading.

Friday, August 12, 2005


I come across a story from time to time and sometimes it leads me down a path where I end up crying. And being really fucking thankful.

Infiltrating Europe's shameful trade in human beings

But then sometimes there can be light, and I see that people are doing things, even small things that matter. And so should I.

Sweet Sleep for Orphans

Sweet Sleep

Thursday, August 11, 2005

How to know if he loves you

If he agrees to do naked somersaults in the bed for you, he loves you.

Shopped Jonas

I used this technique I learned about from Dooce. You can find it under the FAQ section, she refers to it as the "DJ Blurb effect". It may seem like a normal picture, but compare it to the original:

I think the effect adds some dimension to the picture. I went in Photoshop and played with the contrast and brightness and the curves. Big fun!

Here is another one I "shopped":

Tuesday, August 02, 2005


I made Ceviche today and chopped all kinds of things to put in it. One of the things I used in this yummy dish was Serrano peppers. They look harmless enough, small little green peppers. I minced up three peppers and put them in with all the other stuff. I then washed my hands, with soap. Next I went to remove my contact lens from my eyes.


I apparently still had traces of the pepper poison on my fingers. I washed them again, vigoursly with this soap that has little scrubbing granules in it. Tried again.


These things are of the Devil, of this I am sure.

The Bookshelf

This shelf lives in the office at home. It is overflowing with books, they are stacked two deep on some of the shelves. I desperately need to visit Ikea and get some floor-to-ceiling shelves so that these books can live in peace.

Monday, August 01, 2005


I took this picture of myself and Tristan while the boys were wrestling with me. Apparently this sort of behavior is hard-wired into boy brains. They like to play rough, they like to run and smash into things, specifically bodies. In this picture Tristan had run up behind me and jumped on my back, wrapping his arms around my neck. Always fun.