Crossroads

I am at a place in my life, with regards to my career, where I have to decide what I want to do and where I want to head. Normally my path is clear and I don't have any trouble deciding. Now it seems I have a few choices and I am finding it hard to make one, or even two! I wish there were more hours in a day, more days in a year, and more years left in my life. There are so many things I want to do and not enough time to do them all. Having to choose is very difficult!

So many things to consider...is the salary the most important thing? What about the length of my commute? How much would I need to be paid in order to commute for 30 minutes? An hour? How much would I need to move? Is moving really an option? Will the kids care? Which job is best for me? Where will I learn the most? Where will I be challenged? Which work is going to be more rewarding? Which job will get me closer to employment bliss? Is there such a thing?

Every time

When I get together with my extended family, my aunts, uncles, and cousins, I love it. And when I hear my aunt Judy talk about how she still makes Brian's favorite dinner every year on his birthday, I cry. He has been dead for 10 years now, my cousin Brian. We were close, we spent a lot of time together and we shared a lot of scary, happy, sad, and special moments. I think about him a lot, what his life might be like now if he had not killed himself. He was 2 years older than me, so he would probably be married with kids, a house with a fenced in yard and a dog. I miss him and I know his mom and dad miss him too. RIP Brian.