Me: I want to get a motorcycle, I think I will get my bike license.
Mom: Oh Lordy, why in the world do you want to do that?
Me: I have always wanted one.
Mom: Stacy Michelle, you are gonna kill yourself.
Me: No sooner than Dad will with his 3 packs of smokes a day.
Mom: You know people get killed on those things.
Me: Really? Is that why they are called donorcycles sometimes?
Mom: You are gonna get killed and leave those babies with no Mama.
Me: I could get killed driving to work.
Mom: Or you could get hurt and be like a vegetable or something. Then how's that gonna feel?
Me: Well I suppose it won't really feel all that great, to be a vegetable that is.
Mom: Why Stacy? Why do you want a motorcycle?
Me: Well, my friend just died at the age of 34. She was always careful, always ate the right food and exercised, she went to church every Sunday and Wednesday, she worked hard, volunteered in her community and she just died, leaving behind three kids under the age of 6. So, we are all going to die and we don't know when, so what are you going to do with that? I don't want to sacrifice the fine things in life just so I can merely exist. I want a bike, so I can ride it, alone, to clear my head when I need to.
Mom: You know, I have always wanted a motorcyle too. Your daddy used to have one when you kids were small. He loved that thing!
Me: Okay, mom, I have to go. You are totally nuts. You need medication.
Mom: Well, honey I am taking all kinds of medication!
Me: Yeah, ok, love you! Bye!
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Three hours later.....
Mom: I talked to your brother, he wants to sell his motorcycle. It is a 2002 Honda 1100cc. He has added lots of chrome and saddle bags and a sissy bar. He says he will take $5600 for it, it just has five thousand miles on it.
Me: You just lectured me about getting a bike and now you have gone out and found one for me to buy? What is wrong with you?
Mom: Well, I want you to have a good one and not get ripped off.